A New Year 2010

New Year's is often a time of great reflection for people. For me, it's always a time of seeking the Lord about what He wants to do in my life .... what He wants me to work on ... what areas I should focus on for the new year.

Last night as we played games with our big guys my mind and heart kept wandering to a time past. My mind drifted to and from wondering what it must have been like five years ago for the woman who birthed our daughter. As she celebrated New Year's Eve that year .... what must have she been going through ... knowing that any minute her body would go into labor and she'd need to dismiss herself from her life and family and rush to the hospital to deliver a child? Not just any child ... but the child whose laughter and noise fills our house each day. What must it have been like to feel so incredibly alone? How scary must it have been when there were complications and she had to pull herself away not knowing if this little one would even make it? I shudder to think of how great a burden she carried with her all those months.

Today we celebrate this little girl's birthday. But for this momma's heart it's never just simply a day that marks another year. It's a time to remember ... to reflect ... to give THANKS to the Lord for all He has done. It's a time to be in complete awe of His great faithfulness.

Precious Naomi .... you have as much spunk as the size of Texas. Your life has blessed us in ways we could never have imagined. As a baby you brought much sleep deprivation to us that sometimes continues still today. :) We love how you absolutely adore your big brothers. We hope you will learn that you don't always have to prove you're bigger than your little sister. :) There is so much that I want for you, little one. I want you to grown into the young woman God designed you to be ... even with that tinge of vinegar He put inside of you. I want you to know as you grow up that your family and home will always be a safe haven for you, even when the world can be a bit cruel at times. Most of all .... I want you to know that the One who created you can be trusted through each season of your life ... through every year ... every valley and every mountain top. Happy 5th Birthday, precious girl. We love you so very much!

Today we start a new year. May each day find us trusting in the Lord more and more, no matter where this journey takes us. He is our absolute joy! The reason we get up each day. The One we thank when all is going well and the One who is worthy of our absolute trust and obedience during each challenge that comes.

Sometimes Things are Brown & White

While reading Naomi a new book the girls got for Christmas, a familiar conversation transpired once again. I was admiring the beautiful artwork and thinking of later doing an online search to see what other books might be in this series. My daughter, on the other hand, had something different on her mind. I glanced down at the photo and saw a Mom and daughter. The sentence that came out of my little girl's mouth pierced my heart once again. "Mommy ....... I wanna be white like you!". The topic of the color of our skin is something we've openly talked about as she's grown. She knows that we think God made her incredibly beautiful and we rejoice in the lovely shade of chocolate brown skin that He created her with. But during those moments, I have learned that there is nothing that I can say to fix the longing in her heart.

I've found that in those moments sometimes it's best not to say much at all, but to draw her in close and just hold her tight and love her. We went on to enjoy a whole pile of new little books that evening! It was one of the best moments we've had yet. This little girl is all about princesses and all things pink. We started a new devotional that is entirely devoted to that topic. How I pray that as she grows she learns more about her King and that He made her perfectly according to her design in Psalm 139. I found it amazing that this was the first lesson in the book ... especially after just having that heart-piercing moment on skin color awhile earlier.

I will never be brown and my daughter will never be white. We will never share the same DNA. Sometimes it's still hard for me to fathom how God has woven our family together. We are so incredibly blessed!!! He's taught us so much about His heart on this journey of adoption. His love is far bigger than the color of our skin. And most importantly .... He's here to walk us through each season of this journey together.

God's Princess

This picture brings about such emotion for me. Five years ago we were trusting the Lord to reveal the child He had given us a burden for. A child who would be born in America without parents able to care for him/her. A child we would use the last few dollars (and so many more) we had to our names to bring home. A child our young sons (at that time) worked all sorts of odd jobs to help raise the money for their adoption. A child that would take our family across ethnicity lines ..... in our situation those lines could have also meant still be welcomed in the family ..... God had another plan! .... those are now lines of love.

There were sooooooo many practical reasons NOT to say "yes" to God concerning adoption for our family. It would really be impossible to put into words the gratitude I have in my heart for the man in this picture. Because this man said YES to God, one more little girl doesn't have to grow up knowing the pain of being fatherless. Instead of being a statistic in the US Foster Care system, this precious spunky Texan has the status of family member.

We know full well, it's not about us saving children. OH HOW WE HAVE BEEN CHANGED because of adoption. But when I see this picture, I can't help but also know the sacrifice that was made and in part today is still made. For some, adoption is more than a RADICAL step of faith. It is not just the rich or upper or even middle class families that God calls to OBEY Him concerning adoption! The call to care for the orphan and the fatherless has NO financial status tied to it. If we are a child of God and have been saved and ADOPTED BY HIM then we MUST listen to HIS HEART for HIS CHILDREN.

Today a little girl will go see a fairytale movie about a princess, but she gets to live out soooooo much more than a fairytale. Her story is REAL. She is the princess of a REAL prince and even greater a REAL KING. Her life is not all perfect and this side of heaven she'll probably never live in a big castle and certainly does not live in a family with a big bank account. But even better she will get to grow up hearing about the hope of heaven where there are mansions waiting and the singing of angels and the worshiping of the one true King.

As Christmas draws near ..... will you be brave enough to think about the children both here in the USA and across the world that are so desperate for a family? Will you be bold enough to ask God what YOUR part is? Hang on ....... you just might get your life radically changed. I promise you can't even imagine such a wild and wonderful ride.

Two Little Girls

Years ago we would never have dreamed that two little girls would be part of our family waiting for Grandma to visit. Yet here we are.

Obeying God's call on our family to adopt was a complicated endeavor. There were so many obstacles between what we knew God was doing in our hearts and the end result.

One very "unknown" piece of the puzzle for us was not knowing how our extended family would respond. We just didn't know how that would all go over and it was a very difficult part of the puzzle for us. We felt so torn. In our own home and little family we were ecstatic with incredible joy over what God was doing in our lives. But to know that others might not share in that joy ..... well, it's just very difficult to describe.

I only share all this now because I know many of you fellow adoptive families are going through similar struggles. Perhaps you grew up in a family that didn't embrace diversity and other ethniticies. Maybe you grew up in a home where racial slurs were heard. It's quite possible you fear that by adopting a child that looks different than your current family will risk being shunned by the family. These are tremendous things for the adoptive family to consider.

In some ways I wish I could say that every member of our family just fully embraced our adoptions ... that they worked alongside us to help fulfill the goals of bringing our daughters home. However had that been the case, I would have missed out on seeing God do such a work in our family's hearts. I would have missed the opportunity to learn to trust and follow my Heavenly Father first and foremost ..... even before my earthly family.

Just over 4 1/2 years ago I was walking the streets of Houston, TX, having just gotten a bite to eat while our new daughter was working hard to recover from open heart surgery. I will never forget looking up past all the tall buildings to the sky feeling quite alone. At that time I hadn't heard from my family yet after landing in TX. By this time some of them were tolerant of what was happening, yet others I had no idea if I'd really have much of a relationship with them once we returned home. While I felt very far away from my earthly family, I struggle to even find the words to describe how close I felt to my Heavenly Father. I knew without a doubt I was right where He'd called me. There was such an overwhelming sense of His peace, presence and joy.

God has not only worked in my life over these last years, but He's worked in my families' lives as well. So recently while preparing for "Grandma & Pa Pa" to come for dinner I found the girls sitting by the window waiting so expectantly for them. And the beauty behind it is that Grandma was just as over-joyed to see them as well. One little girl born here in America in desperate need for a family .... one little girl born across the world in Africa .... now brought together as sisters. But not only has God given them each a home and a family - while that's huge in itself - even more so He has transformed the hearts of that family to better love Him, to better serve Him and to better know Him.

No matter what challenges you are facing in your adoption, be encouraged that the God of the universe is bigger! .... and He will see you through.

Where Do We Begin?

There are probably an extreme few who even check our blog anymore, because of our horrible negligence in updating it. Each month I think ..... man, I HAVE to get a blog post update done ... and it just doesn't happen. It is difficult to know where to even begin.

This photo is of our new location. As you can see when we arrived it was in major need of help. The board across the front picture window was completely broken, as were many other windows. The yard was very sparse and those walls have NO insulation which made for a very cold Illinois winter. As I look back at these photos, it painfully reminds me also of the condition of our lives at the time. No doubt we were really feeling the affects of being uprooted and starting over. After just completing a major remodel with the North Dakota house, we ventured once again into a house needing massive TLC.

Our incredible remodel crew went to work, yet it was just incredibly overwhelming. Plaster walls and ceiling crumbling; old wire needing repaired; dirt, dog hair and who knows what all needing swept and washed .... it nearly did us in. My stomach turns just recounting that time.

The good news is that God had gone before us .... oh without Him we would not have made it! We were embraced by our church family with such genuineness. They asked nothing of us, but just loved us right where we were at and were used by God as a soothing balm to our hearts.

All during this time we were trying to discern what God had for us in this new chapter of our lives. Over time God gave David vision to launch a Handyman business here that has proven to be a really good fit both for our family and for the needs here in our area. As you know, our deep passion is adoption and orphan care and we are blessed to be serving with the ABBA Fund here from Central Illinois.

Just as we were getting the house livable, we were plagued with the Chicken Pox. That ended up being 5 weeks of utter misery. Chicken Pox IS as awful in adulthood as you can possibly imagine. Let's just say I never care to repeat that Mother's Day again as I sat collapsed in the bathroom wondering if I could even make it 10 steps to my bed.

The house remodel continues ... boys all still waiting to be settled into their living quarters which has drug on months passed what we'd anticipated. North Dakota house STILL awaits a buyer (recent interest in leasing option which we'd covet your prayers about!!!). Through it all God has poured out His grace on us and kept us going. He has filled the barren walls of this big 'ole house with much fellowship and ministry. He has ministered to our hearts and blessed us deeply.

We enjoyed a wonderful summer including many memories made with extended family ..... a rare treasure that we have missed incredibly across the miles! There are many photos to share .... here are a few. Seeing these smiles just bring me such encouragement after such a long journey.














A little landscaping, a bountiful garden and sweet fellowship have created much beauty at this new homestead. We promise to update again soon. :)

Remembering . . .

A year ago today we were finally united with our dear Arsema. What a bittersweet day it was. Our precious girl was less than excited about everything that was happening. I will never forget holding her stiff, scared body. We wanted so much for her to know there was nothing to fear. That process would take weeks for her. It definitely didn't come overnight. You can read all about that on the blog we kept to record our journey to her. However, a year later, she is deeply connected to her family and thriving. She is an absolute joy. We are so thankful for all the Lord has done in bringing her into our family.

Currently we are in the midst of an attack of the Chicken Pox. Three boys down, two girls likely waiting their turn. Hopefully all will be well soon and we can get onto better things ... like celebrating Nathaniel & Colton's birthdays!

A Year Ago . . .

Wow ... so it's been a year ago now (and a few days) since we got that infamous call! The time had come and our baby girl was revealed to us. The Lord had been preparing our hearts for her what seemed like forever. We will never forget seeing her first photos and hearing her story. The shock ... the sadness ... the overwhelming hope and joy.

What a long journey you have had, precious child, in your first two years of life. Many difficulties, losses and trials . . . yet your heavenly Father loves you SO MUCH and by His grace made a way to provide a family for you. Oh what a privilege it is, precious Arsema to be your family. You are a beautiful reflection of God's grace.

Gone are the days of being weak and ill and tiny. You are now strong and full of energy. Your vocabulary is just exploding and it is so much fun to hear you learning to build sentences. You're a bit sneaky and beginning to be quite mischievous. Just this week as you found sister's gum (in the trash can!) and quickly hid it away safely between your chomping teeth you said to me .... "Gum ... mmmmmmm ... yummy ... Mommy!!". I could do nothing but laugh and let you enjoy your rescued treat. Silly girl!!

There are times you still get confused and scared and far away ... especially during our recent move. Those painful expressions of yours take me back to our first days together in your home land. More often though your eyes just sparkle and light up with wonder as you explore and take in all the amazing discoveries in this world.

You are so loved, my precious child. I will never forget God's relentless urging in my spirit about you. It seemed impossible that He would lead us to adopt again. By all realistic standards it was just kind of over-the-top. Oh but the Lord has NO limits, my child. He is ABLE to walk us through any mountains we face. I am so glad He led us to you. Through this journey I have learned so much about His heart and what He values.

May the Lord continue to work through your life just as He has ordained.