Paint chips, Puffs and Praise

Finally the rain stopped awhile so I could get back to scraping the paint off the porch on this big 'ole house we're trying to make home. The children were all busy playing out back and it allowed just enough time for the flood gates to open once again. Something about working on this house reminded me of "the other house" that we still are waiting on closure for. Perhaps it was remembering all the long, hard months we worked on "the other house" to make into home ... knowing how it seemed to be all in vain now, that really hit deep once again. If I allowed myself I could believe any one of the crazy lies that flash through my head on a given day.

As I willed my mind to think on truth I went back to recount all the times I could think of in the past few years that God has shown Himself sooooo faithful. Quickly the Lord brought to mind waiting in a surgery prep room as I signed papers for a procedure that was so against everything I wanted. Doing so gave us a fighting chance on escaping a full-blown illness of cancer. I remembered how I had wrestled through the journey and how God has shown Himself as the God of all Comfort to me. Even when I felt so empty, He was there. He would NEVER ask me to face something without Him. By His precious grace we'd later have the privilege of bringing home TWO orphans.

While I kept scraping the porch and wiping the tears with Puffs, my mind traveled to another hospital room. This time it was when God spared my amazing middle son's life from a deadly sledding accident. I don't know HOW many times the doctors told us in that week stay just "how close" he was and all the "ifs". But instead this guy now towers over me and is so solidly standing on a firm foundation with a heart for many to know the Lord. Oh what PRAISE fills my heart.



That memory of course brought me to a more recent "close call" with my oldest, which you can read about here. Again, God spared that son's life. Lord, your MERCY is more than I can even comprehend.




Many of you have faced your own hardships.

• Trusting God for finances for your adoption.
• A medical diagnosis.
  
• The indescribable loss of a loved one.
• A lost job during the crumbling economy.
• The fear of the unknown.
• A broken marriage, by a spouse who got up and walked away.
• The loss of a dream.

No matter what we face there is someONE there if we will choose to look to Him. We have to choose to look to Him though. He never forces Himself on us. He not only knows our name and the number of hairs on our head, but He knows every detail of what we're going through. He even knows the things we can't voice out loud.

HE is our COMFORT. HE is our COMPASSION.

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion
and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those
in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

HELLO!!! .... there is PURPOSE in what He allows in our lives.

5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ
our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation;
if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance
of the same sufferings we suffer.
7And our hope for you is FIRM, because we KNOW that just as you share in our sufferings,
so ALSO you share in our comfort.
2 Corinthians 1:3-7

I deserve NOTHING, yet He cares enough about me to SHARE in everything going on in my life!

I continued scraping all that paint away, leaving a trail of wet Puffs behind me. I must choose to REST in HIM knowing that all the chapters of our story have not been written yet. It is NOT up to me to make that house sell. It is NOT up to me what the future brings. It IS up to me to TRUST HIM, to WALK WITH HIM, to LOOK TO HIM.

God isn't "good" because the house sold. GOD IS GOOD because He's THERE on the front porch in the midst of paint chips, wet Puffs and a host of unknowns. HE is the very REASON there is PRAISE.

Maybe you're in the midst of your own storm. He knows every tear you've shed. HE wants to be your comfort.

Two Years With Family . . .

Oh sweet Arsema ...it's hard to believe you've been home with us now for two years. We have watched you change in many ways. It seems so long ago you were our precious orphan babe fearful of much, highly guarded and withdrawn.

I think back to the year long journey of bringing you home. The paperwork ..... endless paperwork. The HUGE financial mountains we had to climb. The THOUSANDS of hand-made cards that were designed, made, distributed and sold to help bring you out of the status of orphan and into the arms of family.



I'm so thankful for all that God has done in your life. You bring such JOY to those around you. Your eyes still speak volumes. It's hard for me to comprehend sometimes just how God brought you into our lives. That He would choose us to step out in faith ... so many odds against us ... so that you'd be surrounded by family. Every mountain, was worth the climb, my precious child.

When we first met you your heart was so broken, your body so stiff, your demeanor so cold. Now I get to hear the pitter-pat of your feet in the mornings as you come to find me and offer me huge hugs.




I think of your dear sweet birth-momma who gave you life. When I close my eyes I can still feel her snuggled into my shoulder and enveloped in my arms. When I look at you and your sometimes timid and shy eyes I know where they come from.

What a blessing it is to see you settled into family life. As long as big sister (who you've pretty much caught up to in size now) isn't bossing too much, or we don't leave you behind a closed door (like in the Sunday School class) ..... you are the happiest girl on the block. You absolutely adore your big brothers and you pretty much can get them to do anything you want. :) Unless you throw a fit. None of us are really into fit-throwing, but you are catching onto that as well.

God has a wonderful plan for your life, sweet Arsema. I am so humbled that I get to be part of it.

In a moment ... everything can change

Yesterday the phone rang. It was one of those calls a parent hopes to never receive. The shaky voice of my first born .... "We had an accident." At that moment I drifted into a fog that I haven't quite made my way out of yet. It was hard to even grasp the next part of the sentence ... "we're all okay".

I think it's impossible to prepare for such a moment. This type of event sends your mind into a whirlwind that just has a really hard time stopping to rest. A momma's heart envisions the incomprehendable of preparing for your child's funeral. While caught up in that moment you remind yourself once again the reality that everyone is OK ... and someday there may still be that wedding you've dreamed of.

A time such as this sure brings about a lot of reflection. All the "what ifs" flood your mind and heart as if it's been taken over by waves of the ocean. What if the car had crashed into that telephone pole just a few inches over? ... is one of them.

To say that I'm thankful that everyone is okay just does not even begin to try and describe the gratitude within me. No one is exempt from tragedy. We could easily be planning a funeral(s) this week instead of looking forward to the future.

All praise to God for His overwhelming protection over these precious teens. It's hard for me to grasp what must have taken place in that accident in ways we cannot see with human eyes.

Oh Lord, may I never forget your power and great mercy. Thank you for giving me more time to hug my precious son and watch him grow into the man you created him to be. Thank you for sparing these kids' lives. I know you're working in them to bring good from this and glory to yourself. In a moment everything can change. Help me trust you moment by moment as we journey through together.

C ... if you read this ... I love you more than you could ever imagine possible. Someday when you hold your child, you'll understand. I'm so glad we get more time together. I can hardly wait to see more of the ways God will use you.

Family Photo 2010

Never dreamed years ago this is what our family photo would look like. We are so blessed beyond measure. Embracing 2010 and excited to see all that the Lord does!

A New Year 2010

New Year's is often a time of great reflection for people. For me, it's always a time of seeking the Lord about what He wants to do in my life .... what He wants me to work on ... what areas I should focus on for the new year.

Last night as we played games with our big guys my mind and heart kept wandering to a time past. My mind drifted to and from wondering what it must have been like five years ago for the woman who birthed our daughter. As she celebrated New Year's Eve that year .... what must have she been going through ... knowing that any minute her body would go into labor and she'd need to dismiss herself from her life and family and rush to the hospital to deliver a child? Not just any child ... but the child whose laughter and noise fills our house each day. What must it have been like to feel so incredibly alone? How scary must it have been when there were complications and she had to pull herself away not knowing if this little one would even make it? I shudder to think of how great a burden she carried with her all those months.

Today we celebrate this little girl's birthday. But for this momma's heart it's never just simply a day that marks another year. It's a time to remember ... to reflect ... to give THANKS to the Lord for all He has done. It's a time to be in complete awe of His great faithfulness.

Precious Naomi .... you have as much spunk as the size of Texas. Your life has blessed us in ways we could never have imagined. As a baby you brought much sleep deprivation to us that sometimes continues still today. :) We love how you absolutely adore your big brothers. We hope you will learn that you don't always have to prove you're bigger than your little sister. :) There is so much that I want for you, little one. I want you to grown into the young woman God designed you to be ... even with that tinge of vinegar He put inside of you. I want you to know as you grow up that your family and home will always be a safe haven for you, even when the world can be a bit cruel at times. Most of all .... I want you to know that the One who created you can be trusted through each season of your life ... through every year ... every valley and every mountain top. Happy 5th Birthday, precious girl. We love you so very much!

Today we start a new year. May each day find us trusting in the Lord more and more, no matter where this journey takes us. He is our absolute joy! The reason we get up each day. The One we thank when all is going well and the One who is worthy of our absolute trust and obedience during each challenge that comes.

Sometimes Things are Brown & White

While reading Naomi a new book the girls got for Christmas, a familiar conversation transpired once again. I was admiring the beautiful artwork and thinking of later doing an online search to see what other books might be in this series. My daughter, on the other hand, had something different on her mind. I glanced down at the photo and saw a Mom and daughter. The sentence that came out of my little girl's mouth pierced my heart once again. "Mommy ....... I wanna be white like you!". The topic of the color of our skin is something we've openly talked about as she's grown. She knows that we think God made her incredibly beautiful and we rejoice in the lovely shade of chocolate brown skin that He created her with. But during those moments, I have learned that there is nothing that I can say to fix the longing in her heart.

I've found that in those moments sometimes it's best not to say much at all, but to draw her in close and just hold her tight and love her. We went on to enjoy a whole pile of new little books that evening! It was one of the best moments we've had yet. This little girl is all about princesses and all things pink. We started a new devotional that is entirely devoted to that topic. How I pray that as she grows she learns more about her King and that He made her perfectly according to her design in Psalm 139. I found it amazing that this was the first lesson in the book ... especially after just having that heart-piercing moment on skin color awhile earlier.

I will never be brown and my daughter will never be white. We will never share the same DNA. Sometimes it's still hard for me to fathom how God has woven our family together. We are so incredibly blessed!!! He's taught us so much about His heart on this journey of adoption. His love is far bigger than the color of our skin. And most importantly .... He's here to walk us through each season of this journey together.

God's Princess

This picture brings about such emotion for me. Five years ago we were trusting the Lord to reveal the child He had given us a burden for. A child who would be born in America without parents able to care for him/her. A child we would use the last few dollars (and so many more) we had to our names to bring home. A child our young sons (at that time) worked all sorts of odd jobs to help raise the money for their adoption. A child that would take our family across ethnicity lines ..... in our situation those lines could have also meant still be welcomed in the family ..... God had another plan! .... those are now lines of love.

There were sooooooo many practical reasons NOT to say "yes" to God concerning adoption for our family. It would really be impossible to put into words the gratitude I have in my heart for the man in this picture. Because this man said YES to God, one more little girl doesn't have to grow up knowing the pain of being fatherless. Instead of being a statistic in the US Foster Care system, this precious spunky Texan has the status of family member.

We know full well, it's not about us saving children. OH HOW WE HAVE BEEN CHANGED because of adoption. But when I see this picture, I can't help but also know the sacrifice that was made and in part today is still made. For some, adoption is more than a RADICAL step of faith. It is not just the rich or upper or even middle class families that God calls to OBEY Him concerning adoption! The call to care for the orphan and the fatherless has NO financial status tied to it. If we are a child of God and have been saved and ADOPTED BY HIM then we MUST listen to HIS HEART for HIS CHILDREN.

Today a little girl will go see a fairytale movie about a princess, but she gets to live out soooooo much more than a fairytale. Her story is REAL. She is the princess of a REAL prince and even greater a REAL KING. Her life is not all perfect and this side of heaven she'll probably never live in a big castle and certainly does not live in a family with a big bank account. But even better she will get to grow up hearing about the hope of heaven where there are mansions waiting and the singing of angels and the worshiping of the one true King.

As Christmas draws near ..... will you be brave enough to think about the children both here in the USA and across the world that are so desperate for a family? Will you be bold enough to ask God what YOUR part is? Hang on ....... you just might get your life radically changed. I promise you can't even imagine such a wild and wonderful ride.